My father, General Chick Cleveland, passed away in May 2021 at the age of 93. He gave me some great advice over those years, and I am sharing some of it here on my blog in small doses. I hope it means as much to you as it does to me!
Never shy away from leadership, but do not presume it either – It may not be safe to assume that there is not a more competent leader among you. If no one is willing to step up to the plate, by all means….
Keep track of your money – Being fiscally sound is one of the few things you have more or less complete control over. Don’t spend more than you make, and be sure you save a percentage out of every paycheck. Make a budget, and keep a record of everything. With these habits you will be able to enjoy your retirement!
Don’t toot your own horn – Let others who know you and have personal testimony about you crow all they want on your behalf. When you do it, it looks braggadocios and self-serving.
Always clean up after yourself – Don’t delay; do it right away. Being neat and organized, and maintaining a clean workspace and living space reflects pride and shows others you care. In fact, it shows yourself you care. There’s no reason not to clean up right away after a project, cooking a meal, doing your bills, whatever. Put things away and wipe everything down. You are not done until everything is tidy.
Have a routine – Daddy lived each segment of his day by a routine. From the time he got up, what he ate for breakfast, how he dressed, even how he read his mail. My favorite routine by far is the “drinky-poo” he had at cocktail time. In fact, it transcended routine and became a ceremony. His favorite drink was a gin and tonic. First he got out all the ingredients: The same tumbler, the specific gin, the name brand tonic in the small bottles, the lemons. He sliced the lemons into small sections, added four ice cubes to the tumbler, poured the gin to the count of three, and filled the glass with tonic. He squeezed the lemon in and stirred it. He then got out the snacks, or as he called them, the soakers. First the little serving dishes, then a variety of chips and nuts. Once the table was set, he waited for whomever was with him to be seated and ready. No one took a drink until everyone was ready to relax for that first sip. Glasses were raised, then “Cheers!” and with smiles and warm looks right in the eye, glasses were clinked all around. It was a beautiful ceremony! And one that is repeated in his honor to this day.
Wear pajamas – Another one of Daddy’s rituals, pajamas at bedtime, signifies the transition from day to night, from productivity to sleep. It’s the other end of the spectrum from making your bed every morning – also an absolute must.
The Arts are important – Daddy had no artistic ability that any of us are aware of (although he did take up the drums in his 50s as an ode to his love for jazz), but he had a great love and appreciation for the fine arts. Music, theater, and artwork are ways to express our inner emotions with culture and refinement. They elevate humanity.
Self-esteem is not a right, it is earned – Daddy said many times, if you are a lazy bum who amounts to nothing, you will consequently have low self-esteem; it is a natural order. Don’t blame your no-account life on low self-esteem. Do things that will raise your image of yourself. Improve yourself. Take care of yourself. Then your estimation of yourself will rise also.
Jealousy is weakness – There is no greater exposer of insecurity than jealousy. It is petty and reveals a heart that refuses to believe the best.
Know what the goal is and work toward it – Having a destination is necessary for any journey. How can you arrive if you don’t know where you’re going? You can chart progress and create alternate routes as needed, but know what your goal is.
Take responsibility – If you have a task to do, own it. Immerse yourself in it and do the very best you can with it. If your work doesn’t live up to expectations (yours or someone else’s), own that too. Make no excuses.
Forgive and forget – Once you have offered someone your forgiveness, that’s it. It’s done. Move on.
Stay current – At 93, Daddy spent a good chunk of his day on the computer, reading news, catching up on sports, communicating with his friends, and doing business with his non-profits. He texted and checked his phone fairly regularly. He believed you have to stay up with technology and current events to be relevant. He was not shy when it came to learning new things. He was interested and eager to learn. It kept him young.
Embrace change – It is inevitable in this life, and there is no use trying to fight it. Those who don’t change with the attitudes, standards, and practices of the time get left behind. That’s not to say don’t fight for values you believe in; just be sure those values aren’t obsolete.