The South is recognized for its graciousness, known all over the world as Southern Hospitality. What makes the South’s graciousness notable is that everyone is the beneficiary. When it comes to good old-fashioned manners, no one is left out. It’s this civility that separates the South from the rest of the world. I remember a line from a play some years ago (I couldn’t track down the reference), “Why without our manners, we’re no better than the Yankees!” Tongue in cheek, of course! But I do believe using manners makes us better people.
And it’s not just manners that make the South’s politeness gracious. The South sometimes gets a bad rap, but it has a warmth and acceptance that is palpable. No one is a stranger. All passers-by are greeted, and every visitor has a place to stay. The atmosphere is friendly and engaging. Southerners like you until there is a reason not to like you.
And Southerners love to entertain. Not just eating barbecue and watching the game, but teas (where iced tea is served) and we wear our Sunday clothes and eat petit-fors and cheese straws. Teas are usually in honor of a special occasion, but almost any occasion can be considered special with a properly printed invitation.
Beyond the graciousness is the grace. Southerners may not agree with your life choices, but they will sure set a place for you at their table. Dinner parties mean the table is set and desserts are homemade. There is always a prayer thanking the Good Lord for His provision, the gathering of good friends, and a blessing on the hands that prepared the food. Always.
There is a pervasive intent to not openly disrespect others. Southerners try hard not to poke into others’ dirty laundry and try even harder not to air their own. Other regions almost make a competition of shouting from the roof tops how someone has done them wrong – signs in the yard decrying the offense, constant chatter in the workplace and on social media, even billboards that try to eek sympathy for the victim of a personal affront. In the South, we keep all that behind closed doors. People who need to know, know. For the rest, it’s just none of their dadgum business.
Southerners tend to put a sweet spin on how someone acts even if they don’t understand it or are not sure of their intent. You’ll often hear the benignly patronizing “Bless her heart” accompanying disapproval. One of life’s biggest successes is being able to overcome ill feelings when you want to retaliate. Saying something sweet instead of something bitter.
That patina of grace is more than just surface manners, though. Many Southerners hold a deep belief that people are good and all lives are precious. Attitudes such as these are rewarded with trust and open hearts. Clients, family members, and acquaintances are more willing to believe the best about you when you blatantly believe the best about them. Of course, the opposite is true too. One who believes everyone lies, may believe you are lying, and may be lying to you.
I would so much rather live my life in that warm, comfortable, friendly and safe place exhibited by kindheartedness and courteousness. Even when accompanied with “bless your heart!”