My father has given some great advice over his 91 years, and I am sharing some of it here on my blog in small doses. I hope it means as much to you as it does to me!
Below are five more pieces of advice my daddy has given me. He’s a gem.
Be honest – Tell the truth, even when it’s hard. When you are tempted to lie, think of the consequences of getting caught: a future of untrustworthiness and a reputation for deceit. Veracity is the essence of good character.
Once he was in charge of a bomb targeting operation where his role was to oversee the efficacy of each training mission. There was a zero-tolerance policy at the time which meant mistakes weren’t allowed. Ever. However it did happen, of course, that bombs occasionally missed their mark. Others in his position would cover up the truth or even flat out lie to comply with the 100% effectiveness policy. He did not. His command was not happy – it meant low marks for everyone involved. But Daddy knew the bigger picture was that his men needed to improve their targeting, and the only way to do that was to expose the truth. He was less concerned with losing face than he was with having a reputation as a truth-teller.
Smile and laugh a lot – Daddy loves to smile. He loves to be glad-hearted and is always ready to be cheerful. He smiles at strangers, at people he knows and loves, and at acquaintances. He is not, however, disingenuous. You know when he is unhappy and he’s not afraid to snarl or growl when he feels like it. But his main expression in greeting, especially in new situations, is a big, happy and very genuine smile.
Read a lot – It’s important to be well-rounded. Reading is good for the soul. It keeps your mind nimble and keeps you learning and expanding your horizons. You don’t have to agree with everything you read – it’s good if you don’t! You guarantee a challenge to your sensibilities and that means you are growing.
He has so many books he can’t count them, and over a wide variety of subjects. His favorite is military history, specifically the Civil War. But he also reads myriad newspapers and journals, both hard copy and online, to keep abreast of current events. There is very little he can’t talk about with some degree of knowledge.
Take everything at face value – Believe what people say at the first take. Don’t try to read motives into their words or more than is there. Take their word to be their word. Expect that most people don’t play games or lie or cheat. If they show you differently, then act on that, but until then, believe their intentions are honorable.
Be active, play sports – Sports are a great way to keep your body and mind active as well as to be social. They teach strategy, teamwork, goal setting, and they develop character. Mostly they teach you how to win and how to lose.
Even to this day he plays tennis. He doesn’t move as easily as he once did or hit the ball with the same power he had as a young man, but he still enjoys the camaraderie of other players. He especially enjoys reading his opponents and finding ways to outwit them. He is never so happy as when he’s on the court. The thing about tennis – every time you come off the court you are either a winner or a loser. You better get good at being both.
He taught all of his children to congratulate our opponents for winning and to let them know how well they played. Sore losers brood; rather, learn from your mistakes, think of the next opportunity, and work to improve. And if you win, never gloat, never make your opponent feel like they were less than competitive, and never, never do the touchdown victory dance!
Of course all these things translate into everyday life – Be cheerful, trustful, and trustworthy. Be interested and interesting. Most of all, be gracious to those around you both when you are on top and on the bottom.