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Generations Positivity

On Going Gray

At 55, the decision to go gray took much more consternation and consideration than the decision to color my hair in my forties. When I turned 40, I attended an event with my sister who is 12 years older than I am. She colored her hair which kept her looking younger, and I had been showing the first strands of gray. Up until that point I loved and embraced my gray. I thought it was natural and beautiful, a part of aging gracefully, an organic process. But at that event somebody looked at my sister and then at me and said to me, “And you must be older?”

I was devastated.

That week I started coloring my hair. It felt a little weird at first, but my friends were also coloring their hair, so I looked the same nebulous age as everybody I was with. Sort of that non-descript, middle ground where you could be anywhere from 35-60.

I started seriously thinking about embracing my gray ten years later, when I turned 50. I was just flat-out tired of coloring my hair, of keeping up with the gray roots, and of the amount of time it took to color it. Like most women, my chosen color was getting lighter and lighter to try and mask the relentless gray roots that showed themselves afresh every week or so. It was a very busy time in my life, working full-time, getting a master’s degree, and taking care of my father, as well as trying to have some semblance of a social life. I really didn’t want to devote my precious mental resources to worrying about my hair.

I’m a minimalist at heart anyway. I try to keep my life as low-maintenance as practical.

Following through with the decision to go natural meant I would definitely look older than my contemporaries. The women, that is – most men don’t even consider covering their gray. The women, however, are a veritable cornucopia of colors. Anywhere from auburn, to blonde, to chestnut, to raven black.

When I mentioned going gray, my girlfriends and my hairdresser cringed. Why would I want to look old when there are still so many great years to live?

But to me the decision to go gray is a lot more than looking older. It is about looking natural. It is about my hair color naturally matching my age. If I project youthfulness, I want it to be because of my attitude, my energy, my fitness level, or my ethos, not because of my hair color.

Personally, I feel more beautiful with gray hair than I did as a blonde. It is a natural beauty, not contrived. It has been part of a redefining or awakening. I am vibrant on the inside and my hair color doesn’t change that at all. I am still adventurous and sporty, but I feel less weighed down. To be sure, it was an emotional adjustment, and it did take some self-cheerleading. But now I absolutely love it!

I was perhaps a little drastic when I finally did decide to go gray. Rather than letting the color grow out or doing a color-match, I cut all the blonde off at once, so I had a very short, boys’ haircut. My friends and family had all the jokes about me identifying as a lesbian. I was fine with that. My hair will grow out soon enough, and I can decide whether I want to keep it short or grow it long again.

I see many women into their late eighties still coloring their hair, and I don’t judge. Going gray is such a personal choice. It took me five years at least to make the decision to embrace my natural, silvery splendor. I regret nothing!

Categories
Generations Positivity

Being a Nontraditional Student

As a member of the league of older, nontraditional students who are also working full time, the challenges are not centered on the schoolwork. No, the schoolwork is much more exciting than it ever was when I was a traditional student. The challenges are more a factor of the hidden costs – the opportunity costs. The price we pay for education is measured in much more than dollars and cents.

We pay in non-tangible ways with our time, our status, and our loss of freedom.

My peers are approaching retirement if they are not already retired. They are enjoying their grandchildren, their tennis, their overseas vacations. They have time. So much time.

Time is a commodity that eludes the nontraditional student. When I come home from work, I spend time with my father, fix him his favorite cocktail, then head to my home-office to read, study and write. I envy my friends and their extra time, but I also feel like my best days are ahead of me, full of promise, while theirs might just be behind them.

We older students put our esteem on the line when we try to go toe-to-toe with our younger classmates. Sweet platitudes like, “I admire you! I hope to still have that kind of drive when I’m your age!” play through my head way longer than I wish they would. When I ask for a pen because mine ran out of ink and no one has one because no one uses actual pens and paper anymore, the look of confusion and then compassion on their faces belies the fact that I am distinct from them in more than just age, but in technology, culture, The Times.

Being seen as a mentor among the younger crowd takes a back seat to being seen as a fellow, struggling student, just doing my best to turn in assignments on time. What I know that my classmates don’t is the real-life application of the lessons they are learning. Man, that is invaluable.

Another challenge is the loss of freedom to do what we want, when we want. Classmates grab a beer after class; friends plan an evening out together; family members want to take a weekend trip, but none of that is possible with a full-time job, classes, and responsibilities at home. Homework, exams, papers, and projects mean the fun is on hold. It certainly feels like others are living a far more carefree life while we are trudging through peer-reviewed articles and creating Prezis.

What I count on is that the loss of fun in the here-and-now is an investment in my future. More will be gained in the long run.

The fun is waiting for me!

Categories
Generations

Why understanding generations in the workplace is important

Each one of us has been, is, or will be a potential target of ageism because every one of us will be a part of every age group over our life course. Ageism is bias against a particular age group and can be manifested against the young and old alike. Race, ethnicity, religion and gender are each in some way fixed or selective. We are fitted into a category and in some cases can change that category of our own volition. Not so with age. As long as we live, we will continue to age to the next year, being that much more removed from the youngest workers entering the workforce.

Undoubtedly, we all have been viewed as the young, irrational, impatient upstart by our elders. Our ideas were not readily accepted and were often misunderstood, and we have felt frustrated that our burgeoning and unrealized potential was stymied. A common experience among all of us is that those who came before us were baffled by our generation as a whole: our work ethic, our principles, our pop culture, and our lack of moral turpitude.

After not too many years, we experience the same thoughts and feelings flowing the other direction. I hear my own age cohort express bewilderment at the upcoming younger generation’s habits, interests and obsessions. Those of us who have been around long enough experience the opposite – the younger generations see us as unable to adapt to the changing workplace, closed to new ideas, and the cause of the world’s current, volatile, political and economic environments.

These relationship dynamics are typical in families, and they play a part in creating an independence in us and sense of moving on and, hopefully, moving out. In the workplace, however, the effects of in- and out-group bias cannot be underestimated when it comes to productivity, engagement, and a cohesive, friendly work environment. Leaders strive to create a common set of values, beliefs and behaviors that unite teams and encourage high function. When those teams are divided by the similarity-attraction paradigm – the tendency to gravitate to those who look, act, and think like we do – that unity across groups can be threatened.

Today, the workforce is more diverse than ever, and there are five generations working together: The Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials and Generation Z.

The Silent Generation are 75-91 and make up less than 1% of the workforce*. The preceding age cohort, the Greatest Generation, are those who are 92 and older, so-called because they fought the world wars that contributed to the greatness of our country’s history. The Silent Generation gained their moniker as a silent majority who kept a low profile after the accomplishments of the Greatest Generation. Silents value hard work and loyalty above all other characteristics. In the work environment they are lifelong employees and connect their actions to the overall good of the organization.

Baby Boomers are 56-74 and make up 28% of the workforce. In the workplace, they believe in lifetime employment, company loyalty, and paying one’s dues. They prefer in-person communication, are less technologically savvy, skeptical of new workplace philosophies, and typically favorable of the status quo. They value job security, and their careers are largely defined by their employers.

Gen X-ers are 40-55 and make up 31% of the workforce. In the workplace, they are independent, computer literate, and likely to move from job to job, seeking to improve their skills and marketability. They are distrustful of large corporations and government, and work-life balance is important. They believe professional success and personal fulfillment are linked.

Millennials are 25-39 and make up 36% of the workforce. They are a very diverse generation who have always had computers in the classroom. They operate at high levels of self-assurance with technical literacy, and they search for meaningful, fulfilling careers that allow for flexibility, autonomy and independent task achievement. It is not uncommon for this generation to leave the workforce temporarily to travel or to work a non-career job just for the experience.

Gen Z are 24 and younger and make up 5% of the workforce. Gen Z has never known a time without the Internet and without computer technology readily at their fingertips. They are extremely tech savvy, are awakened to social responsibilities, and are tolerant of diverse cultures and attitudes. They are hands-on, experiential learners and workers who want freedom and independent work. They are non-committal and experimental, not wanting to stay in one place for long, in favor of trying new and different things.

Generational identification occurs when significant social, economic, and political events are experienced by members in similar age groups. The Silent Generation perceives and experiences life differently from Gen Z, and those differences lead to disparate expectations in the family and work environments. All people, regardless of age, value a good workplace and great leadership. We want to be valued and we want opportunities to grow and to contribute to the organization while being appreciated and rewarded for our contribution. Each generation’s take on these things, however, is a little different.

It is not hard to imagine that biases can arise between the older generations and the younger. The most high-performing teams are ones that are diverse in nature, who have common goals and have different ways of thinking to achieve them. Our best strategy then should be to exercise a little understanding, especially initiated by organizational leadership. The more groups understand about the experiences, needs and motivations of one another, the more positive work outcomes can be expected.

Employers cannot tolerate discrimination against workers over 40 according to EEOC, but there is no mention of discrimination against younger employees and applicants, although it is reasonable to expect the bias goes both ways. The rejection phrase young applicants hear on a regular basis is “lack of experience,” but many interpret that as a euphemism for “too young.” Research shows the best performing businesses have boards that are diverse, and employers should acknowledge that diversity is not just race, ethnicity, religion and gender, but also age – all ages. The added dimension of many different life experiences, viewpoints, and skill sets will strengthen any team, any board, and any organization interested in increasing their competitive advantage.  

Understanding the generations in the workforce is important to mitigate biases against any age group, young or old, in favor of a more diverse organization that represents multiple perspectives. Being myopic and homogeneous is not a business strategy that leads to sustainably favorable organizational outcomes. Being open-minded and inclusive is.

*This article was first published on LinkedIn.

Sources:

*All statistics are taken from US Department of Labor, retrieved from https://www.bls.gov/

AMA Staff (2019). The Myth of Generational Differences in the Workplace. American Management Association.

Deal, Jennifer and Alec Levenson (2016). What Millennials Want from Work. McGraw-Hill.

Strauss, Karsten (2018). More Evidence that Company Diversity Leads to Better Profits. Forbes