Categories
Positivity

Grace, Graciousness and Southern Hospitality

The South is recognized for its graciousness, known all over the world as Southern Hospitality. What makes the South’s graciousness notable is that everyone is the beneficiary. When it comes to good old-fashioned manners, no one is left out. It’s this civility that separates the South from the rest of the world. I remember a line from a play some years ago (I couldn’t track down the reference), “Why without our manners, we’re no better than the Yankees!” Tongue in cheek, of course! But I do believe using manners makes us better people.

And it’s not just manners that make the South’s politeness gracious. The South sometimes gets a bad rap, but it has a warmth and acceptance that is palpable. No one is a stranger. All passers-by are greeted, and every visitor has a place to stay. The atmosphere is friendly and engaging. Southerners like you until there is a reason not to like you.

And Southerners love to entertain. Not just eating barbecue and watching the game, but teas (where iced tea is served) and we wear our Sunday clothes and eat petit-fors and cheese straws. Teas are usually in honor of a special occasion, but almost any occasion can be considered special with a properly printed invitation.

Beyond the graciousness is the grace. Southerners may not agree with your life choices, but they will sure set a place for you at their table. Dinner parties mean the table is set and desserts are homemade. There is always a prayer thanking the Good Lord for His provision, the gathering of good friends, and a blessing on the hands that prepared the food. Always.

There is a pervasive intent to not openly disrespect others. Southerners try hard not to poke into others’ dirty laundry and try even harder not to air their own. Other regions almost make a competition of shouting from the roof tops how someone has done them wrong – signs in the yard decrying the offense, constant chatter in the workplace and on social media, even billboards that try to eek sympathy for the victim of a personal affront. In the South, we keep all that behind closed doors. People who need to know, know. For the rest, it’s just none of their dadgum business.

Southerners tend to put a sweet spin on how someone acts even if they don’t understand it or are not sure of their intent. You’ll often hear the benignly patronizing “Bless her heart” accompanying disapproval. One of life’s biggest successes is being able to overcome ill feelings when you want to retaliate. Saying something sweet instead of something bitter.

That patina of grace is more than just surface manners, though. Many Southerners hold a deep belief that people are good and all lives are precious. Attitudes such as these are rewarded with trust and open hearts. Clients, family members, and acquaintances are more willing to believe the best about you when you blatantly believe the best about them. Of course, the opposite is true too. One who believes everyone lies, may believe you are lying, and may be lying to you.

I would so much rather live my life in that warm, comfortable, friendly and safe place exhibited by kindheartedness and courteousness. Even when accompanied with “bless your heart!”

Categories
Travel

Camping Alone

I love camping alone. I’m not a terribly experienced camper, and so far, I’m not too rustic, but I do like to camp in a tent in a primitive spot, usually at a state park. The thing about state parks is there are always too many people around. But the parks are usually lovely and well-groomed and afford a view of the scenery not seen in other venues.

I have a small easy to assemble tent and take only the gear I think will be necessary. I’m not on the Appalachian Trail so I don’t need to carry everything I could possibly need. I plan for the weather and only stay the weekend, which means I can pack lightly and strategically. I may choose to open a can of stew, cook hotdogs over a fire or go into town for a bite.

I don’t always plan that part. I like to keep my options open.

I have a good lantern so I can read when it gets dark. I keep my phone with me and a backup charger so I can use it for navigation and communication if needed.

I love to hike, explore the town where I am, take advantage of the activities at the park. One evening I went kayaking around a mountain lake at dusk. The green mountains were beautifully juxtaposed against the blue water and pink-orange sky, and the water was warm.

In the summer, I have a fan that I hang from the ceiling and use only a light sheet to cover me. In the cooler weather, I bundle up in my sleeping bag with extra warm clothes and a knit cap.

I have had my tent visited in the night by curious animals that I can’t identify. Mostly small ones with light footsteps and little noses that press against my tent walls. I have never come across a bear, and I hope I don’t. But maybe I will.

Building a fire has been a challenge, so I still need to practice that skill at home. Usually you have to buy firewood at the campsite. Also, there is usually a bathroom close by, but I have never used one. I go in the woods, using a shovel if necessary.

I keep my water in a 3-gallon container and use that for drinking, cooking and washing. I keep a trash bag handy and empty it in the park trash each day before my hike and before bed. I have a camp stove I use to make coffee and cook. I don’t pack much food because you really don’t need that much (and because I hate to cook).

But I love the freedom of camping alone. It’s the freedom to do whatever I damn well please. Eat? Walk? Sit and stare at the stars? All on my own time, no one’s opinion to interfere. The solitude and the peace are magnificent.

Then I’m ready to come home and reenter the hustle and bustle of life afterward.

Categories
Travel

Traveling Solo in Nova Scotia

My trip to Nova Scotia was magical. I went alone and was concerned at first that I would want company — someone to share the epiphanies that come with experiencing something new. I realized quickly that traveling solo is absolutely delightful. You don’t have to run your plans by someone else. You eat what and when you want. Most importantly you do whatever appeals to you without the inevitable, “I don’t know, where do you want to go” back-and-forth that eats time and ends with compromise.
 
Nope, I woke up when I felt like it and hit the road. I wore no makeup the entire time I was there, so morning prep time was minimal. My plans were to see as much of the natural sights as I could pack into five days, to hike, and to meet new people. I stayed in Airbnb’s most of the time, and a motel one night. I rented a car and drove all along the coast from Halifax on the East Coast to Cape Breton in the North and back down to Bear River on the West Coast. There is a scenic trail that runs the perimeter of Cape Breton Island and the views were worthy of stopping every ten minutes or so to pull over and soak in the beauty. And oh, the trails! Some were simple and some very difficult, but none disappointed.
 
Staying in Airbnb’s was great. My first ever experience was with a newly married couple who were first time hosts. They were engaging and fun and very hospitable. They invited me to eat supper with them and we got cozy fast. It was a great first-time experience. The second stay was in an old miner’s cottage in the midst of repairs. It was a tiny two-story with a steep, narrow, curved, wooden staircase, and one bathroom with no shower. Back in the mining days, in the bitter cold winters, the homes had large grates in the second-floor floorboards to allow the heat to rise, and this house still had them. It was easy to imagine life in that home a hundred years ago. The last Airbnb I stayed in was a spectacular barn that had been remodeled into a beautiful home. It was on a vineyard and I arrived on harvest day, so the hosts were all a-bustle getting the grapes in before the rain. I spent a good amount of time wandering around the property in the rain, enjoying the blueberries, apples, pears and all the charm the estate had to offer.
 
The food was fantastic in Nova Scotia. Lobster rolls, chowder, poutine, which is really just French fries with gravy and fixin’s, but it was delicious. Seafood is copious, and the Digby scallops were so fresh and sweet. One really surprising thing to me is how many vineyards and wineries are on the peninsula. I partook. I did several tastings as well as a beer tasting at a brewery, and enjoyed every sip.
 
The views though – they were spectacular! The shores consisted of rounded stones the size of silver dollars and covered with orange moss that rippled in the wind and the shallow waves. There were sweet, colorful flowers I had never seen, and cattails, and moss hanging in deciduous trees. There were small waterfalls, herons, and quaint lighthouses along the peaceful coastal areas. And the Atlantic Ocean seemingly stretched out forever, like I was standing at the end of the world. The water was a deep azure and rather choppy, not at all like the Southern Alabama gulf beaches I know.
 
Driving inland was just as picturesque. It was October so the trees were oranges and reds and yellows, and the gently rolling hills were covered with farms. Red barns, perfectly manicured crops, and little white churches dotted the landscape, like pastoral scenes straight from a painting. As I drove north, the trees and scenes changed to more conifers and rockier landscapes. I hiked a trail called Cape Split that was a two-hour ascent to a sheer cliff that is meadow-topped and split right in the middle. The drop is 200 feet and there are no guard rails. You look straight down over the edge at the swirling currents that surround the obelisk-like rocks jetting up from the bay. The exhilaration of being that high and that close to the edge was conflicting. There was a definite feeling of freedom, but also of constraint. Ultimately it all gave way to a feeling of complete awe and respect for nature. It was spectacular!
 
What sticks out most about this trip is that I felt like I had time to breathe, to think, to relish the experience with all my senses, with no distractions. It was freeing, and the time was so precious. This was my first solo trip, and it has primed my adventurous heart for more. Thank you for the memories, Nova Scotia! I will always remember you fondly because you were my first.

Categories
Positivity

My Glass Is Very Half Full

The most patient girl.
Life is good most of the time. Maybe only some of the time really, but so much of how we take life is dependent on our attitudes. When we believe things will go well, they probably will. When we believe they won’t, they probably won’t. We find what we look for most of the time.

Once you believe the best about other people it is natural to elicit their best. There is an interesting study in the evolution of workforce management. Over the years, management theory has gone from believing all workers want to shirk their duties and get away with as much as they can – you have to heavily discipline them and guard against indolence – to believing that all workers have a desire to make a difference where they are working and should be incentivized to reach their potential.  This paradigm shift reflects the rest of life and our communal ethos.  Believing and expecting the best in people and in yourself brings out the best in those around you.

My dog Sandy is a great believer in expecting the best. She looks for the best in everything. She believes she will get a treat every time she comes in the house. She believes she’s going on a walk every time I put on my shoes. She believes she’s going to the bark park every time she hears my keys. These things rarely happen in comparison to her expectations, but she never gives up hoping. She’s pretty sure it’s all going to happen right now. And she is so happy for it. What if we were that simple? Would we be happier? I know that when I am with her and she has that happy, expectant look, I want to be the best dog owner I can be. She makes me feel happy.

Fill yourself with positives: positive people, positive attitudes, and positive actions.  These things will drive you forward with momentum and will breed more positives. More positives mean more successes and more happiness. If optimism’s glass is half full, mine is very half full.