My father, General Chick Cleveland, passed away in May 2021 at the age of 93. He gave me some great advice over those years, and I am sharing some of it here on my blog in small doses. I hope it means as much to you as it does to me!
Be a team player – The good of the team is more important than the good of the individual. A team has a purpose, a goal, and your best value is whatever advances the team, not what puts you ahead. Never give half an effort, encourage on the sidelines, and bring Gatorade for the team when you’re not playing.
Know your limitations, don’t overcommit – There’s nothing worse than telling someone you will do something and figuring out you can’t because you don’t have the resources, you don’t have the time, or you don’t have the inclination.
Be there for others – We all need each other in some way and if you have the resources to help others you should. You have probably been helped by others at some time. Maybe a sounding board, a word of advice, a leg-up financially. You should give back. It’s the right thing to do.
Stand up for yourself, do not be acquiescent – Letting others steamroll you is just dumb. Make sure you are equal to others in your own eyes and you will have less trouble being equal in theirs.
Shoot for the top, always perform your best – There have been times when I was willing to settle for second best, and Daddy called me up short for not trying for the top. One time in high school, a particularly innovative teacher let the class shoot for the grades we wanted. To get an A in the class, we had to write a certain number of papers, do research, read more than what was required, and show an effort at reaching the top. To get a B was less effort and seemed very doable. I really liked Option B. Daddy was always very sure to “let me make my own decision,” but he let his opinion be known loud and clear. “Why would you settle for less than an A?” Of course, my rationale was because it was less work, and that didn’t fly with him. I changed my goal, did the work, and got the A. The experience will always stick with me.
Play hard – Wherever Daddy went, there was a party. He brought it with his mirthful attitude and wry humor. He loved people to be at ease and to laugh. And he loved his cocktails. A few gin and tonics and everyone he was with became as blithe as he was. He had that effect. Playing hard is a fighter pilot mainstay, and it stays for life. Daddy had all kinds of friends, and they all admired his fun side.
Be genuine, forthright and upfront – Cloaking and masking are for people with something to hide.
You can be anything you want to be – Don’t limit yourself with small goals. The only one who can stand in your way is you.
Take pride, be proud, but don’t be too proud – Daddy was a very proud man. He was confident, self-reliant, and never wanted to give up control or independence. At the same time, he was very conscious of false pride and knew the difference between self-confidence and self-aggrandizement. Be sure you know which side of the fence you fall on, and be sure to adjust your opinion of yourself based on your own accomplishments. Once you become too proud, you are apt to inflate your worth – a mistake that will undoubtedly get you knocked down a peg or two. Possibly very publicly.
Love your people fiercely and with devotion – Your team, your family, your tribe, are the ones who stand behind you and give you strength. They support you and love you even when you’re unlovable. Love them back with unwavering loyalty. The world is big and full of unknowns, and without your people you may feel alone and anxious. With them you feel buffered, strong, and steadfast. This is important, especially in a crisis.