My father, General Chick Cleveland, passed away in May 2021 at the age of 93. He gave me some great advice over those years, and I am sharing some of it here on my blog in small doses. I hope it means as much to you as it does to me!
Be frugal but generous – Lordy, Daddy was frugal. He hated to part with his money. He always got three estimates. He almost always chose the lowest. He waited for exhausting amounts of time to complete a big budget project just so he didn’t have to outlay that cash right away. He didn’t buy things he didn’t need, and he didn’t need anything. He was, however, exceedingly generous. He gave freely to others in need.
Have a sense of humor – There is very little in life that cannot be made better by laughter. He was self-deprecating and willing to see humor in his own foibles. Sometimes he saw humor where he shouldn’t. But oh well. Wouldn’t you rather laugh inappropriately than not at all?
Speak first, shake hands, look people square in the eye, and wear a warm smile – People only get to meet you for the first time once. Make their first impression of you one of strength, confidence, warmth, openness, and good will.
Do not give people a reason to mistrust you – In all ways make sure you are trustworthy and truthful so people have no reason to doubt your veracity or your integrity. If they do, that is on them, not you.
Extend mercy – When I turned 11 I took a beer from my parent’s refrigerator and shared it with a friend. Man, was I cool. Mother and Daddy found a beer missing from the just-purchased six-pack and confronted me. I denied it. They did nothing, and I was sure I’d convinced them they had drunk the missing can. A week later, trapped in the car with Daddy on the way to tennis camp, he confronted me again by giving me a way out that ensured I would tell the truth. “We know you took the beer, but we are more concerned about the lying. Now tell me the truth now, and nothing will happen to you. I just want to hear you say it.” I confessed. How could I not?
Nobody wants to hear your personal business – Keep personal stories – things that might put you or others in a negative light – to yourself. Don’t air your dirty laundry for others to see. It’s not their business. And don’t discuss money either. Ever.
Be strong, you don’t need the approval of others – Do the things you want and need to do, but don’t expect or even look for approval. You may get it or you may not, but who cares? If you know what you are doing is a good thing (personally, morally or socially), do it without looking back.
Be strong, you don’t need anyone to hold you up – You are strong enough to make it through anything at all. It’s a matter of believing you have the power and will to go one more mile. Believe in yourself. You don’t need anyone else to hold you up, and no one can bring you down.
Be strong, and know when it takes a team – Being strong means understanding some things are better done with diverse perspectives. A multitude of experiences and ideas are vital to bringing fresh ideas and talents when doing something great or creating something new. Being strong does not mean being an island. It means giving your fullest to a group effort and understanding that the outcome is greater with the help of many.
Be strong, you can do it – Just keep trying. Seriously. Just keep trying. If you give up, you are letting yourself be weak. But you are strong, so don’t give in. You can do it.