My father has given some great advice over his 91 years here on this planet. I will share some of it here on my blog in small doses. I hope it means as much to you as it does to me!
General Chick Cleveland was raised by a single mother who put a lot of emphasis on good manners and common sense. As a result of that good upbringing and his accumulated life experiences, he internalized many moral lessons which he extends informally in the form of sterling advice. Over his 90-plus years, his counsel and admonitions have been given both verbally and through modeling. What follows is a compilation of lessons he taught to those who were lucky enough to hear and know him.
I am more than lucky; he is my father. He has been an archetypal role model: loving, very supportive and mirthful, but also gravelly and stern – a pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps man’s man. His devotion to his family has been unwavering. Growing up with him was perhaps a little bittersweet, but his advice has been honeyed with time. Now, being an adult with him is most certainly sweet.
My mother was an amazing woman. She was beautiful, gracious, elegant, and charming. She could also be earthy, artsy, whimsical, and daring. She was multi-faceted and warm. Ever-so warm. She lit up every room she entered with an inner light that never dimmed. She was soft and sweet but spirited, strong but demure. Sometimes coy. She was permissive and enjoyed the antics of her children and grandchildren. Daddy was a stern man with high expectations and very disciplined. Daddy and she balanced each other out so well. Things I learned about kindness and compassion, I learned from my mother; the lessons I learned from my father are about responsibility, strength and integrity. Daddy’s lessons, though not always gentle, were always infused with love. Lots of love. A love that may have been hard for him to express at times, but deep and true and steadfast.
I am compiling the lessons I learned from him because they are so important they need to be shared. I want to pass them on, not only to my own children, but to anyone who will benefit. The lessons he taught me are good for everyone, good for mankind. I feel a debt of gratitude and a responsibility to pay them forward.
The Number One Lesson is Integrity:
Integrity is everything – if you lose anything in this world, don’t lose your integrity. Hold it with a very tight grasp and no matter what the consequences, you will always have your honor. The best example of this is his Ace status, 50 years after the fact. During aerial combat in the Korean War, Daddy had not claimed a fifth kill even though he saw the enemy plane clearly hit by his barrage, and one more kill would have made him an Ace. He didn’t claim it because he didn’t see the plane crash and didn’t see the pilot eject, both of which were his personal criteria to determine if the plane was destroyed. The problem here though is that his squadron (primarily his wingman) knew the plane was destroyed because of the devastating damage it had taken and its downward trajectory through the cloud layer. They encouraged Daddy to claim the kill, but he just couldn’t. Not that he wasn’t tempted, but in his mind that would have been dishonest, and his lifelong integrity was more important than temporary glory.
Fifty years later, his wingman set out to prove Daddy’s “probable” was a kill. He investigated the enemy’s war records and found the corroborating evidence. He successfully made a case to the US Air Force. Daddy was named the 40th and Last Ace of the Korean War. “Last” because it was 55 years after the conflict, and with the advent of drones there is the possibility there will be no more aerial live combatants.
Daddy has lived his last ten years or so as a military and local celebrity and is Past President of the Fighter Aces Association. And his friendship with his wingman was rich and rewarding for years until his death, a true testament to loyalty and love.
This anecdote lays the foundation for the excellent character that surrounds my father. He is straightforward, honest, sincere and fun. I can’t wait for you to meet him here!